13 reasons why.. 

13 reasons why. 


A friend messaged me last night with just those words. I immediately downloaded the book. I had put the book down as one to read, on my never ending list of to-reads, hoping to get through the list in a timely manner; so it was on my radar. I just never expected it to affect me so much. 

I don’t do much research on books I read. I prefer to discover their secrets along the way, so I had no idea the book was about a girl who commits suicide. Until I watched the Netflix trailer. And then I immediately started reading the book. 

If you have not read the book, please do. If you prefer watching series over reading, then watch those 13 episodes. 
And then tell me exactly how you were affected by the content. Because you will be affected, I promise you that.
 

Suicide. 

It’s something each and every human, enlightened or not, has thought of at least once. I say ‘thought of’, not ‘thought of doing’ – before anyone gets on the defensive. 

What have you thought about suicide? Have you ever thought of ending your life? Did you know someone who ended theirs- and did you wonder what was going through their minds for them to make that decision and take that step? 

-This is the second book I’ve read on suicide. The first was ‘I was here’ by Gayle Forman. Read this as well; it provides a completely different view to the word. –

Suicide. 

Society shies away from the word. I have written this post specifically so we could discuss suicide. 



Who condones it? – none of us should. 

What situation causes it? 

Are there any kinds of situations where taking your life is the only option? – there are so many: this is where Euthanasia comes in. That is a form of suicide; the decision to end a life was made by that individual. 

What of teenage suicide? Why have the numbers increased? Is there something wrong with teenagers or something wrong in how the adults of this generation are raising them? 

So many questions. I would very much like to hear your answers in the comments below. 

This is for those who feel they are alone and have no other way out and everything is just too much and they need to get away. This is for you; if you are being bullied; if you have lost someone; if you are being shunned; if you feel as though your life is starting to unravelknow you are not alone. You matter. 

A pure heart<3 

Last week I visited a feeding centre here in Malawi; ranked as the poorest country in the world. There is a large population in Malawi that suffers from extreme poverty. This feeding centre was an initiative taken by those who wanted to make a difference. And they are. 

I met this little girl. She came up to me, and seeing that I was wearing my headscarf, greeted me with the words ‘Assalaamu Alaikum‘. Now, with the state the world is in, and how much the levels of hate crimes, due to Islamophobia, have increased, I was shocked to say the least. 

I had to pause for a moment and collect my emotions before I burst into tears infront of this little girl. 

I greeted her back and asked her name. Her name is Constance. I wasn’t very sure of her religion and I decided it didn’t matter. She was only four and she knew the greeting I used. 
I was stunned. Not at her innocence or the beauty of her smile. But because I was not expecting it at all. Why was I so surprised? If I met a French person or an Indian, I would greet them in their own language. So why should the case be any different with me just because I’m Muslim.
For those who are unaware, ‘Assalaamu Alaikum‘ means ‘Peace be upon you‘. That is the way Muslims greet the people we meet. How beautiful is it that a child who does not understand the words she is saying, respectively greets in the way of the receiver. This moment and this lesson is something that will stay with me forever. Thank you, Constance, for being so beautifully loving. Peace be upon you, little girl. 

Have any of you experienced such innocent love from children? Post some of your own stories in the comments below x 

That step;

One step. 

The first step. 

The smallest step. 

Pause. 

Think. 

Smile and take that breath. 

Take that step. 

The biggest step. 

The leap of faith. 

The fastest rush of air and wind against your hair. 

The blush against your cheeks and the feeling from the leap. 

Your heartbeat quickens

Your stomach jumps. 

You.

Take.

That.

Step.

You have done it. 

You did it. 

Was it worth it, worth the fear? 

Was it worth the thoughts, the doubts the reason that you’re here? 

Yes. 

Yes. 

A thousand times. 

Yes. 

-I was asked to write a poem in 5 mins by a family philosopher. I came up with this. 

What situation did you imagine? Write them down in the comments below 

To being farsighted …

Patience. 

Be patient. 

Have patience. 

Recently, that is all I have been hearing from friends, family and significant others alike. To be patient. To wait out the storm. To have faith. 

What exactly does patience mean? 

Does it mean to be meekly accepting of all and any situation that is to arise in our lives? 

Or does it mean to stay quiet through your hard times ? To passively endure ? 


“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of the process” – rule #8 from The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak. 


I’ve gathered that patience is not to sit on your hands or twiddle your thumbs while waiting for things to happen. 

Patience is not keeping quiet when it is better to speak. 

Patience is faith. Faith that no matter the outcome, you will be accepting of it. Patience is understanding the grand scheme of things, instead of letting that single moment in time overpower all else. Patience is faith and expectation that no matter what, everything that happens, happens for a reason; for the best reason. 

Patience is looking at the thorn, and seeing the rose. Looking at the night and seeing the dawn. 

Solitude does not necessarily mean loneliness 

There are days when loneliness hits you right in the chest. Then there are those quiet moments where you’re absolutely alone with your thoughts and are completely okay with the silence. 

Solitude is cathartic in a way. Being on your own should be a thing we’re all okay with. If we can not be at peace when we are with ourselves, then how can we be at peace when we are in the company of others; with each other. 

Moments of contemplation lead to clarity in our thoughts. That is why meditation is thought to be an anti-depressant. Letting your thoughts follow the path they are taking, at a mellow speed is the most calming experience ever. It binds your ideas of life together. It illuminates all aspects of the secrets of this world. 

Do you enjoy moments alone? Where are your favourite places of solitude? 

I spend atleast 15 minutes everyday, in my own kind of nest, just taking a moment to organise the thoughts racing through my ever noisy mind. 

Such a girl? 

Such a girl. 

Such an important statement.         

Such a strong comparison.

Such a joke. 

How many millions of times have girls been told that they’re acting like ‘such a girl’. 

It’s a statement used so lightly without thought of reprucussions. And not only towards the female half of our species. If a guy hits lightly; he is ‘such a girl’. If he cries; he is ‘such a girl’. 

Such an insult. 

Why? Why do we dethrone our women from the pedestal they should be on? Why do we not raise them higher? Why can’t we refer to our girls as the strong ones? Why do they always have to be weaker? 

Is it because they are not physically bigger? Or is it because for generations to come, we, as women, have allowed ourselves to be referred to as the weaker of our species. Yet, it is the women that bear children for nine months in their womb. It is the women that overcome those back breaking contractions during labour. It is the women who provide sustenance from their own selves for their child; literally, for the first few months of their lives. It is the women who raise these children; yes even the men who degrade their women were raised by a woman. 

So I find it hard to comprehend how exactly women are the weaker ones. If someone is to say I am being ‘such a girl’ I’ll be proud. 

Next time you say ‘such a girl’ make it motivating; inspiring, NOT insulting. Mention a few motivating statements we could use, instead of degrading ones, in the comments below. Let’s go against Conventional wisdom and be the change we’d like to see. 

“You’re beautiful because you fight like a girl” – SRK 

The simplest gesture of them all…

Relationships are mostly based on grand gestures. Whether it’s the first time he asks you on a date or when she tells you she loves you. Whether it’s a friend’s birthday or even welcoming a family member home. These moments are thought to be complete only when done with a grand gesture. Think about it for a moment; promposals, proposals, even gender reveals, birthdays, anniversaries and the list can go on and on. Relationships are not complete without these grand gestures. Why? Is it because we need something big and flashy to happen to be able to remember these events? Or have we, as humans, become so shallow that only flashy big gestures are acceptable?

I have nothing against gestures of love. I think they’re cute and my fiancé and I have had a few similar moments; though not on such a large scale as the norm for relationships. So, now his love is only acceptable as true love when he goes all out with the flowers and chocolates and balloons and makes sure everybody who is anybody knows that he went through so much trouble just for you. Or for that Instagram or Facebook post. Because if he didn’t have all the material stuff, how would you both post about it? How would you make sure the world knows exactly how in love and happy you are?

Do we really let these grand romantic gestures define our relationships with each other? Many aspects of our lives have become so superficial that it is very rare to find two people who are truly happy with each other. How many times do we hear ‘He is never romantic enough’ from the woman of the relationship? And how many times do we hear ‘she never appreciates the small things I do for her’ from the man? Too often.

Why have we let ourselves become dependent on material things we do not need and will not remember, to make the most memorable moments in our lives as public as we can, when they should be cherished for the small details and the smallest touch or smile, instead of how many roses we’re given or what fancy words are uttered? Why do our proposals and birthday greetings have to be made so public, when they should be some of the most private moments of our lives? Are we that insecure in our feelings for the people we love that we need to ensure other are made aware of them? Can we not express our love without making sure everyone knows about it? The answer to that is no.

In most cases, we find women being unhappy with their relationships because their significant other hasn’t made a grand romantic gesture in a while. The reason behind superficial friendships is which friend broadcasts her/his love the most. Our lives have started to revolve around making sure others know of our love instead of ensuring our loved ones actually feel that love.

I honestly think that relationships based on grand gestures are doomed from the start. Why? Because as time goes on, expectations of how we receive the love expressed by our loved ones are raised so high that even if the smallest thing they do could make all the difference we would not notice them. Why? We are looking for that ‘grand gesture’.

Surely, there must be reason behind all these expectations. Is it because it’s normal? No. It’s what is being portrayed in books and movies and by the media in general. Grand gestures are what we have been brainwashed to accept, and nothing else. It’s ‘All or nothing’.

We, as women, have been taught to accept nothing less than the grand romantic gesture. We, as men, have been taught that nothing other than the grand romantic gesture will be accepted.

I will use the example of The Bachelor/Bachelorette series. Every season ends with a grand proposal infront of millions of fans – mostly ladies – who sigh at the big diamond on her finger and the romance and love that oozes from between the couple. How many of those relationships survived? A handful at most. Why? Because it was built on romantic dates in the most exotic places and grand romantic gestures, and when the couples returned to their normal lives they found they had difficulty keeping the romance alive.

Personally, the small things are what matter. A single rose on a random day, just because he was thinking of you. A few pancakes for breakfast because you know he loves them. Freshly hand baked goodies, instead of a fancy cake made by a professional, because he wanted you to know how much you meant to him. A handwritten note slipped in front of the other because you want them to know how much you love them. That, my friends, is romance. Not a big flashy ring, or a bouquet of a hundred roses because ‘it’s her birthday and I have to get her something expensive’. No.
Live life appreciating every small gesture and you will be content. It’s the simple ones that count the most.


Think of a simple gesture. Any small thing that touched your soul. How much more meaningful is it? Something you can hold close to your heart forever.

Share a few in the comments below. 🙂